My thanks and best wishes to all of you mommies out there, especially my friends at Dell's Mother's Room. My pumping journey had come to an end. I had received such great advice, learned so much from all of you. I am fortunate that my husband and family is extremely supportive.
My breastfeeding journey did not start off smooth. I had all the symptoms other nursing mothers have. Cracked and bleeding nipple, engorgement, fussy baby and to make it worse, I had very slow let-down which led to low supply eventually. I had to start supplementing with formula when Phoebe was 3 weeks.
Before I deliver, in every piece of literature I read, it is said everybody will have enough milk to feed. If you do not have enough means you are not diligent in feeding. This will definitely not occurred to me. I believed in breast milk so much that it had to work for me. I fed more than 10 times a day. I literally do not sleep at night because of the frequent feeds. It took me some time to come to terms that I do not have enough to feed. And after all I had done, the many people I talked to, I do believe there are some mothers, despite all things done, still do not produce enough.
Despite the low supply, I continue pumping and feeding on demand. Over the weekends, you will see me in my few nursing tops. I had fed in public, in malls, restaurants, airports, car etc. When Phoebe was lighter, I can carry and feeding Phoebe from North to South of Queensbay Mall.
For many times, I was traveling for work and figured out how to pump on planes and at airports. Went online to find where are the nursing rooms for the airports I'll visit. Transport milk back in cooler bag. Had one bad experience in Japan, had a rewarding experience in Bali, other times were all good. Some of our offices have good mothers room while others do not have any. I had used my battery operated and manual pump in the toilet, in a store room to pump.
Everybody told me to have a target on how long I wish to feed. My first target was a very pessimistic one -- 4 months. 4 months had passed and I'm still feeding and pumping. Next target -- 6 months. 6 months had passed and I'm still feeding and pumping. Next target -- 9 months. At 8 months, Phoebe was all addicted to the breast and refusing the bottle. While I'm away for 10 hours in a typical workday, she had only as low as 5oz of milk and a little solids. I had to continue, some milk from me is better than no milk from the bottle. Since I'm at 9 months, I might as well make it to 1 year :). And here I am, I made it to a year of pumping and feeding.
Along the way, I am blessed with many moms with oversupply. I've got breastmilk from them for Phoebe. I am extremely grateful and thankful to those moms. You will definitely be blessed abundantly in return.
In celebration of Phoebe's 1st birthday, I am hanging up the horns! We will continue to nurse in the mornings and before bed as long as my supply allows. Thank you for your support and camaraderie over the months. It has been such a roller coaster- getting the nursing going, hating the cracked parts, sore parts, undersupply, experienced pumping in the airport, feeding in public and all of it.
There were many tender moments when nursing. Carrying and holding Phoebe, the expression on her face, her refusal to let go were all invaluable. Now that she's more responsive, she will do some obnoxious act. Open up your blouse and say nen-nen; when you ask where is nen-nen, she will point to the breast and say 'nah'; use her head to rub on my body etc. I will definitely miss those moments when I stop nursing completely.
Most of all, I think you have the right attitude with not stressing over it, which is a milk supply killer. I also stressed a lot over this until I just finally accepted that, if I have to supplement, that's ok, formula is not the end of the world. What's important is not pride, but that my baby gets the nutrition that she needs.
I have such admiration for all moms that pump and/or nurse and/or exclusively pump. It is such a tremendous commitment and one that very few people really understand. If I am blessed with another baby, I will still choose to do it all over again. And I pray that God will develop my milk ducts and grant me full supply to feed. To all of you who are still pumping, all the best.
Well done, Marina! :) i'm very encouraged by yr post. Breastfeeding is definitely not easy. for me, it's tougher than giving birth!
ReplyDeletei agree with you, for some mothers, despite all our efforts, still not able to produce enough. But having some supply is better than none at all.
Just got to give thanks that at least we are able to breastfeed. :)
I'm like you, for Sam, my supply is somehow not as much as when i had Rachel. And the strangest thing is, I direct feed Sam. Whereas for Rachel, i expressed fully (coz i had very bad bleeding nipples and excruciating pain). But milk supply for Rachel was more. i expressed all the way until 11 months old (and it was an over-supply scenario). However, for Sam, the supply is just not as much although i feed him very frequently.
Anyway, congrats again on the accomplishment! it's such a joy to see Phoebe growing so well. :)
After reading this, I feel that I can't be blessed more as I don't have a single problem as you mentioned above. However, I'm just curious on what suggested that your supply is low and what is enough. I never measure how much breast milk Hannah takes in. That's why I'm puzzled when you said they need 25-30oz of fluid a day including the milk. I simply have no way to gauge her intake of breastmilk. Anyway, good job pumping ;) have a good rest!
ReplyDeleteThanks Wee Lyn. I had no experienced in natural birth, can't compare that yet. :)
ReplyDeleteAi Ling, typically the intake is measure by the output if there's no way to measure the input. Wet diapers, poops & weight gain. If those are ok, then there's sufficient. And also in the early days, whether the baby is satisfied after the feeds. And after they take solids, it will be the texture of their stool. Some are too hard, most probably the baby hasn't taken enough liquids.